A Most Unreliable Narrator Issue #109 Zero Sugar
But I’m still just as sweet
I wore him down after seven years!
TEH and I are getting re-married on May 4th, 2023! Party at the cabin in the summer of 2023.
That’s my big news for the week. Getting married in KY is super easy. You both have to be there to get the marriage license and then just show up at the courthouse M-Th. No appointment needed. Boom, married.
If you don’t know the history, here is why this is significant: TEH and I met back in the late ‘90s on IRC (precursor to Discord and Slack). We moved in together, were together for 1.5 years and then we broke up before I moved to DC. Fast forward nine years (2008), I’m back in Grand Rapids and he googled me to find out what I was up to these days and reached out. We got to talking, met up in December of 2008, moved in together June of 2009, and got married on May 4, 2010. I left him in August of 2014 in the midst of a mental breakdown, we got divorced on April 1, 2015, and got back together September 2016 where we’ve been ever since.
He's, rightly, not been keen on getting married but legally, KY doesn’t recognize common law marriages and there are some legal things I would not have access to such as his health if anything would happen to him. We are also planning on splitting a mortgage when we move to Chicago in a few years, and it would just be far easier to be married than not. We were planning on getting married within the next decade anyway when we retire in Europe but the move to Chicago hastened it up.
But I wore that motherfucker down!
We’re not having a honeymoon, the cruise this winter takes care of that, and he’s not buying me a ring since I still have our bands and engagement rings from before. I have wanted, however, a diamond infinity band that I was going to wear on my right hand, but I’ve decided I’ll get it before we get married and wear it on my left. My engagement rings can be on my right hand instead.
Party in N. Michigan summer of 2023.
I’ve got everything planned out.
It still works too. I’m selling it on eBay in the near future where I’ve seen some with bids up to $30.
This past Thursday, TEH and I were doing our morning walk and it was drizzling a bit. Forecastle was starting so Waterfront Park was mainly closed down. We cut across some wet grass where I tripped on tree roots and caught myself with my right hand, hence the ugly bruise. My right arm also got tweaked and for a few days I was unable to bend it enough to dress myself. I reached out to my trainer to tell her I wasn’t going to do my HIIT workout on Friday so I walked instead. Monday is back to the grind. My arm feels better, and she’s adjusted some of my workout for me to compensate.
June 6th I go in for my colonoscopy. This is some shit. Literally. I already put it off once since I was going to go see my brother and his family a few days later and now I have no reason to put it off. On our walk to dinner on Friday, I stopped at the local tattoo and piercing place to have my nose ring taken out. I’ll take out my earrings before the procedure.
No piercings allowed since I’ll be going under general anesthesia.
Getting old requires more maintenance then I thought would be possible. This past Friday was my mammogram (I have fat nodules and no cysts. YAY!) then the colonoscopy. I think the colonoscopy is yearly? I guess I could have just done Cologuard which is way less invasive but only has 93% efficacy on detecting cancer. Give me 100%.
I have to get up at 3:30 a.m. the day of and start drinking some weird gross concoctions to clean myself out and then show up at 7:30 a.m. at the hospital for the 9:00 a.m. appointment. I told TEH to take the day off since I would need someone to drive me home and turns out AT&T now gives employees caretaker days, up to 15 days a year, to help someone in their family with medical whatever. I’m taking a vacay day.
June 14 is my intake day at Norton for fat girl surgery. As you now, I’ve been on the fence about this since the surgery is rearranging my innards and I felt that I could do lose the weight on my own. So far, that hasn’t worked. Diets don’t work. Sure, I’m working out, but it’s strength training and light cardio, not geared for weight loss. My weight hasn’t changed since I settled at 327 a month ago.
I’m just tired of eating. I’m tired of counting calories and portioning food out. I know I’ll have to be mindful of this after surgery since I’ll need to make sure my protein intake is high, and my sugar count is low. Also, low sodium foods.
I’m 100% for the surgery now. No more wishy washy. Let’s get ‘er done as Jeff Foxworthy would say. Cut me up and rearrange my innards. I’m ready.
I’ve decided to not track my food intake, but I’ve got a good handle on what I’m eating now. I had chocolate Huel this morning for breakfast which I cut with almond milk and high protein no lactose chocolate milk. My breakfast had 55 grams of protein and was 500 calories. It was low sodium and carb but the sugar was kind of iffy. Lunch was about four hours late of low sodium soup and cheese and crackers. I’ve been sipping between water and Coke Zero Sugar. Dessert was sugar free chocolate.
I may not be tracking my food because it’s all ingrained in my head. I know, without weighing, what consists of a single serving.
I shouldn’t know this. I should just be able to eat for energy, sustenance, and a bit of pleasure. I shouldn’t spend mental and emotional energy on food.
This will be discussed more in-depth with my shrink. Clearly.
Things I Recently Wrote
What I’m Reading
You can see what I’ve read or watched so far this year here.
The 7/12 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle An Agatha Christie-esque locked room mystery
Reputation Mean girls with Jane Austen thrown in
Dissolution Lawyer turned sleuth in Tudor England
The Historian A 700 page tomb of the retelling of Dracula
The Book of Life All Souls #3
Girls to the Front Oral history of Riot Grrrls
Black Loves Matter Essays that intersect on love, romance, and media through the lens of Black authors and creators
The Most Likely Club Four best friends struggle with who they were in high school and who they are now
Paul Takes the Form of a Mortal Girl A contemporary retelling of Woolf’s Orlando
Orlando Virginia Woolf’s modern take on fluidity of gender and sex
A local favorite for tea and lemonade, Milo’s offer of zero sugar sweet tea fills all the spots of iced tea without the sugar. Sure, it’s not the same as regular sweet tea but when you’re watching your sugar intake, it’s a brilliant substitute.
Get vaccinated! Vote in the primaries! Boop a dog’s nose!