A Most Unreliable Narrator Issue #106 Lei beve
Right now, I’m high on sugar. It’s Thursday night and TEH and I went to our local Mexican place for dinner, and I ordered a few Cokes which ended up filling me up as opposed to food. Yet, I got a Coke to-go along with my leftovers. That’s one thing that we noticed about Louisville–they offer you drinks to-go when you close out your bill. Tonight’s to-go cup is tomorrow’s deliciousness.
I heard back from Norton (fat girl surgery clinic) and my paperwork was processed on April 12 and there will be a three-to-four week delay as they authorize my insurance and the medical staff go through my paperwork with a fine tooth comb. I keep reminding myself that we have no idea what is going to happen with the fat girl surgery, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting Norton to rip the damned Band-Aid off and tell me I’m rejected because I’m crazy. Baptist did. Why wouldn’t Norton?
This is why I have a health plan in place because of that potentiality.
Next week I head to my doctor’s office to get weighed in by her for my “official” records to show proof to Norton I’m taking this seriously. I decided to stop weighing myself at home because it was too anxiety inducing. Here it is Thursday and I’m anxious about my weigh-in day of Monday. As long as I follow my plan, workout, and make better choices, I should be fine.
The thinking, however, revolves around that I want to lose one pound a week which will put me about 40 pounds thinner before our trip at the end of November. I want to be able to fit into airplane seats dammit. I want to not feel like a smooshed bowl full of jelly. I can take homage that Friday (tomorrow but two days past on Sunday) marks the end of my sixth week of working out. To celebrate, I bought more workout clothes.
The gist is that I shouldn’t be putting limits on the whole weight loss thing. It serves no purpose other than causing unwarranted stress, but as any fat person knows, we keep banging our head against the diet wheel hoping something will work and will work in the time we need it to happen. A close friend of mine and I keep reassuring each other it’s a marathon and not a sprint. I asked them recently if they noticed any difference in their own physicality (they have been weightlifting since October) and at first, they said no and then a few days later I got pictures of their intensely pale shredded calves.
When I was talking to TEH about the delay in paperwork, he cottoned to the idea that while I was eating better and working out on a regular basis, I wasn’t taking it as seriously I should be. Case in point, I went off caffeine for years due to heart meds (for anxiety not that I have a heart problem) and then after a few “shit forgot to tell them decaf” instances, noticed that I wasn’t having heart palpitations or anxiety when I had caffeine, so I started ordering Cokes when we venture forth outside our keep for dinner. Then I started going downstairs to Jimmy John’s because they have a superb fountain and the good ice. I quit the Jimmy John’s adventure damn quick after a few times because it could become a habit really fast. Thus, tonight while we’re eating dinner, TEH pointed out that I couldn’t have carbonated drinks after the surgery while I’m sipping on a Coke, and I had to be mindful of the sugar. My argument, as the delicious beverage went down my throat, didn’t hold water because I had been buying caffeine free Coke for home which is carbonated and has sugar. I think I’m being serious about the surgery, but am I? Am I really?
More tweaks need to happen. I’m proud of dearest friend because they have been doing so well in their pre-work losing 22 pounds since January. They find out next week or so if they are good to go for their own surgery. Fingers crossed they are.
They and I have touched briefly if one of us has the surgery and the other does not since our support system is built around both of us taking this journey. I told them if they went forward with it and I didn’t for whatever reason, I wouldn’t be jealous of them or upset but I would be super supportive. It’s hard out here for a fat person and if they were able to do surgery for their own reasons, how could I be mad?
TEH and I bought Rosetta Stone the other day since my Perks at Work offered the best price over his Perks at Work and coupons available online. Bastards tried to weasel more money out of me by wanting me to cough up $130/year for live Italian speakers to help me with my pronunciation and clarity of speaking. I know there are sites that I could do an exchange with–an Italian looking to improve their English and myself looking to improve my Italian and won’t cost me $130.
I’m now up to three apps (Duolingo, Mango, and Rosetta Stone) and Italian All-in-One For Dummies. We’re going to start watching Italian movies on Criterion (TEH is a white trash pompous twat. He accepts this designation gracefully.) for better immersion. When I start to feel comfortable with the language, I’ll start listening to podcasts and hit the books. When I was confirming my video date with Lindsay the other night, I told her before I saw her that I was going to practice butchering Italiano. Hoo boy, is my pronunciation bad. I’m going to be saying “Un poco Italiano” a lot in Italy. I just know it.
(TEH pointed out that my intense work learning Italian was the same intensity about taking classes and wasn’t I supposed to stay off of that for 2022? I told him it was nothing like taking a class. Then I admitted I was in denial.)
I spend a lot of my free time working on plans for our trip. I’ve got my packing list updated, I’m shopping for hotels, keeping a list of places we may want to visit. Today I unfroze my credit accounts to apply for an Amex Platinum. Crazy to think that I finally got the over 800 credit score that I could qualify for a sweet card. Purely for travel, of course, because who doesn’t want to rack up the points and hang out in swank lounges at international airports.
We’ll be applying for Global Entry once we get our new credit cards. (TEH is getting a Cap One Venture X which is neck in neck with Amex Platinum for perks.) The only thing that proves I’m a US Citizen (new people: I was born in Canada to an American mother and Canadian father) is my passport. I’ve lost my naturalization papers years ago and could never find them. One of the documents I may need for the Global Entry program is my naturalization papers if my passport, social security card, driver’s license, and proof of living in America longer than five years doesn’t work. I’ve reached out to a few immigration lawyers in the city to help me with this ordeal. I applied for my paperwork back in the early naughts. Immigration cashed the check but never sent me my paperwork. Figures.
I’m anxious about this not only about applying for Global Entry but also my passport is up for renewal in 2024 and I just don’t want anything impeding me getting it renewed.
Humble brag update: Which upper class white trash girl got an Amex Platinum with no limit? Your girl right here. TEH spent hours Saturday going through all the benefits and rewards as I hooked up the card to anything with loyalty points. I’ve officially become upper middle class white trash.
Things I Recently Wrote
What I’m Reading
FINISH A FUCKING BOOK LISA BEFORE STARTING A NEW ONE.
The 7/12 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle An Agatha Christie-esque locked room mystery
Reputation Mean girls with Jane Austen thrown in
Dissolution Lawyer turned sleuth in Tudor England
The Historian A 700 page tomb of the retelling of Dracula
If We Were Villains Did he or did he not commit the murder?
The Book of Life All Souls book #3
To Love and to Loathe Two hearts battle it out. Who will win?
Girls to the Front Oral history of Riot Grrrls
all about love bell hook’s classic
Learning a new language.
Not all of us are polyglots (I’m looking at you Ben and Dave) but according to science, a learning a new language “…develop new areas of your mind and strengthen your brain's natural ability to focus, entertain multiple possibilities, and process information….” Who doesn’t want to improve their brain?
While we all learn differently, you can’t go wrong with any of these apps (I’m using all three because I am a nerd):
Duolingo Available free or paid versions (I have paid), you learn basic structure, grammar, and pronunciation. Duo claims that spending X time on the app equals to a semester of language class. They are not wrong if I recall my days of collegiate French. I like the gamification of the app, you can have friends, and Duo offers stories that help you learn. Over 50 languages to choose from. My favorite one.
Mango Languages Primarily available via libraries (for free!), Mango starts you with learning basic phrase and conversational sentences while practicing on your pronunciation. I like this because I can get basic phrases down while Duolingo is more concerned about grammar and sentence structure. Remember: free from libraries. (Also, the Mango crew give legendary parties at library conferences.)
Rosetta Stone Probably the most well known of the three, Rosetta Stone has been around for a very long time. They are also available for free from libraries (Lindsay’s library offers RS) or you can pay for your own subscription. We hit upon a great deal for lifetime access so the TEH and I got our separate accounts. You follow a “plan” designed to get you skilled up for the reason you choose. I choose travel and yet I’m learning verb cognates on people swimming. I guess when I’m 35K over the Atlantic, this will be helpful.
If I was to go with one, I’d pick Duo and also grab a language book to solidify the learning. Mango and Rosetta Stone have their pluses and minuses and I’m finding their different approach helpful to shore up Duo but Duo for sure.
Get vaccinated! Vote in the primaries! Boop a dog’s nose!