A Most Unreliable Narrator Issue #111 We are worse than exes; we are friends
Fat girl surgery a go-go.
My birthday has come and gone, and I thought I would feel a lot of ennui from being so fucking old but instead, I’ve come to peace with it (of some sort). People like to tell me I look like I’m in my mid-late 30s which is flattering. 36 was a good year since that’s when J and I reconnected and began our love story for the second time; I graduated with my MLIS and got married when I was 38. My late 30s were pretty good.
But I am going to stay away from AARP’s fashion advice for GenXers (and their other advice) because it’s full of shit that none of my GenX friends agree with. We are old but we’re still fabulous. Aging, alternative hipsters we are.
My fat girl surgery intake was on the 14th, and it was pretty intense. I met with the nurse, therapist, and dietician who walked me through the basics of before, during, and after surgery care and eating. It’s not easy by a long shot. My insurance doesn’t require a pre-diet (a lot of insurances require that you attempt to lose some weight or at least try to anywhere from three to six months before your surgery) but I will have to do the liver shrinking diet two to three weeks pre-surgery. Your live is over your stomach and it will have to be moved during surgery so the doc can get to your stomach and they want it as healthy and small as possible. My clinic’s version of the liver shrinking diet is no more than 40g of carbs, 60g of protein, no starchy foods, sweets, or pretty much anything good and lots of protein shakes and clear liquids. J and I went through my binder yesterday to walk through the diet and procedure since he’s coming along with me for the ride diet wise and while I don’t have a surgery date (authorization from insurance can take up to a month) we’re going to start the liver shrinking diet when we get up to the cabin on the 25th. The house will be completely empty of food so we can start fresh.
On the 15th, I met with my surgeon who seems nice enough. The meeting was done and over with within five minutes (check-in took longer). The whole process so far seems very automated. I’m sure this is robotic for them: fat people coming in and out of their offices, but there should be at least some humanity to the process. I feel pretty good I’ve got a support network built up (dearest friend, J, bariaticpal.com, other friends who have had the surgery, Norton’s FB group, my therapist), so I’m not that worried or concerned but yes, more humanity please. Norton sent me a follow up survey and I’ll go to town on that bad boy. I’ll also include they need someone to proof-read their content (lots of typos) and that some of their documentation is missing pages. The primary reason I’m hanging on to Norton is my therapist went with them and loved the experience. Also, they haven’t rejected me because of the crazy.
The intake nurse confirmed that borderline personality disorder (which I used to have) is a big fat rejection for a surgery candidate. No real explanation why other than relapse. I asked on bariatric pal why this was (searched the forums and found nothing) and best guess, which backed up the intake nurse, was relapse. Baptist said as much when they rejected me, but I wanted to find out more whys. Someone on the forum also pointed out bipolar would have meant an automatic expulsion in years past from the surgery which is frightening. If you are under medical care and are stable, and have been for years (such as I am), then why does it matter? Crazy people deserve health care too!
I don’t fear for a relapse. J and I have been back together for seven years come September, I’ve been in my job for 3.5 years, and my familial and friend relationships are solid. (I did joke with J I was due for a breakdown in the next few years. Bad joke. Very bad joke.)
The one co-worker that I like is also interested in the surgery, so I spent Friday with them going over my binder and they photocopied stuff of interest including the liver shrinking diet. They joked I was the trailblazer and I laughed. (They are also have my crazy so my work is helpful to them.)
Have you heard the latest? Janeites are up in arms about the new Netflix version of Persuasion because Dakota Johnson plays Anne cheeky and sassy when she is “supposed” to be quiet, plain, and passive.
There is also huge backlash about the language in the trailer, primarily with the words “exes” and “ex-lovers.” Devoney Looser, famous Austen scholar, said this:
Fuck ‘em. Janeites do not know how to have fun. I, for one, will be watching Persuasion with great anticipation since it’s my second favorite Austen novel. And it’s also called an adaptation. Again, fuck’em.
Things I Recently Wrote
What I’m Reading
FINISH A FUCKING BOOK LISA BEFORE STARTING A NEW ONE.
The 7/12 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle An Agatha Christie-esque locked room mystery
Reputation Mean girls with Jane Austen thrown in
Dissolution Lawyer turned sleuth in Tudor England
The Book of Life All Souls #3
Girls to the Front Oral history of Riot Grrrls
Black Loves Matter Essays that intersect on love, romance, and media through the lens of Black authors and creators
Paul Takes the Form of a Mortal Girl A contemporary retelling of Woolf’s Orlando
Orlando Virginia Woolf’s modern take on fluidity of gender and sex
The Widow Queen 10th C Poland. A princess used as a pawn to form alliances, but she has other plans
Lonely Boy Tales from a Sex Pistol
Anger is an Energy John Lydon’s life uncensored
It’s In His Kiss Book #7 of the Bridgerton series
For All Mankind (Apple TV+).
J suggested last night to watch this as he had heard it was very good and while we have 209348 other shows in progress, why not? Brendan has also spoke highly of the show, so we gave it a whirl. Four episodes in, not going to bed till after 1:00 last night, and we’re hooked.
The premise is what if the space race continued on with Russia? Developed by Ronald D. Moore (Outlander and Battle Star Galactica (reboot)), the writing is tight, characters are well developed, but the pacing is a bit slow but we heard it picks up in S2. They are putting a lot into the episodes (hence the tight pacing) but it doesn’t feel rushed or overwhelming. Third season has recently started so this is making for a good binge.
Have a happy <insert quip here> summer!